I miss him so badly

I hate him..
i love him.
i hate him.
i miss him .
i hate him
i want him.
i hate him.
i want kiss him.
i hate him.
i want hug him..
i hate him.
i can't stop thinking bout u.
i hate him..
i always need him.
even i say i hate him..
in my heart..
i love him so much..

senyum dalam berduka..

Di wajah terukir senyuman tapi di hati luka berdarah..aku menangis sepenuh hati semoga aku dapat membuat hati aku lega dan melepas kan segala yg terbuku di dalam dada..menangis tidak mampu menyelesai kan apa-apa pun..apa yg kau rasa?bukan kau yg merasa..aku korban kan diri ku agar kau bahagia..pedih nya tidak terkata bila aku di tinggal oleh kau yg bukan kekasih ku..tiada apa yg ku dapat mengorban kan diri untuk kau yg ternyata bkn kekasih ku..tapi apa dia peduli?kerana yg kena bkn dia..aku ini hanya seperti pakai buang di buat nya..menyesal tiada guna nya lagi..menangis sudah tiada erti..ketawa dan tersnyum umpama terpaksa..kau tinggal kan aku untuk memilih dia..kau kejam kerana buat aku percaya dengan janji2 dan kata2 kau..aku seperti terikat dengan semua itu..aku cuba melupakan..namun hati aku masih tidak dapat menerima segala yg terjadi..ya aku yg berduka..kau bergembira..luka yg aku tanggung ini terlalu dalam..sehingga aku tidak boleh mengubati..aku hanya mampu berdoa agar aku bisa menerus kan hidup ini dengan tenang..selagi aku belum mendapat kan jawapan dari kau..aku masih lagi menanti..dan aku harap kau sedar apa yg kita pernah lalui bersama...aku mengerti andainya aku ini tiada apa di mata mu..jika kau fikir aku terlalu taksub pada CINTA..kau silap..aku juga manusia biasa seperti kau dan manusia lain yg hidup di muka bumi ini..aku di cipta kan sama seperti manusia lain yg di lahir kan dengan hati dan perasaan..adakah kerana umur aku??aku tidak boleh memiliki cinta??ada kah kau merasa kan diri kau sudah cukup dewasa untuk memiliki cinta yg sejati??buktikan kedewasaan kau..jangan terlalu pandai berkata2..tapi tidak mampu untuk membuktikan nya..seharusnya kau yg merasa kan apa yg aku tanngung di dalam hati ini..hati yg pedih..hati yg terlalu sakit..mengapa kau bisa bahagia..knp bkn aku??aku terlalu menyayangi mu sehingga aku menjadi buta..buta hati..mempercayai kata2 dusta kau..sudah lah..aku terlalu penat untuk menangis lagi..Berikan lah aku secebis kasih sayang dan kebahagian agar aku bisa 'PERGI' dengan tenang..

love me!

Love me..

i want somebody love me.

i'm not desperate..

but i'm just same like other human being..

want to feel love..

don't ever try to understand person who not will be your lover..

i hurt..

so much..

until i can't feel anything..

i lost my feeling.

i lost my spirit..

i need it back..

i will revenge for what u already do to me..

i will.

if i were boy

If I were a boy
Even just for a day
I’d roll outta bed in the morning
And throw on what I wanted then go
Drink beer with the guys
And chase after girls
I’d kick it with who I wanted
And I’d never get confronted for it.
Cause they’d stick up for me

If I were a boy
I think I could understand
How it feels to love a girl
I swear I’d be a better man.
I’d listen to her
Cause I know how it hurts
When you lose the one you wanted
Cause he’s taken you for granted
And everything you had got destroyed

If I were a boy
I would turn off my phone
Tell everyone it’s broken
So they’d think that I was sleepin’ alone
I’d put myself first
And make the rules as I go
Cause I know that she’d be faithful
Waitin’ for me to come home (to come home)

If I were a boy
I think I could understand
How it feels to love a girl
I swear I’d be a better man.
I’d listen to her
Cause I know how it hurts
When you lose the one you wanted (wanted)
Cause he’s taken you for granted (granted)
And everything you had got destroyed

It’s a little too late for you to come back
Say its just a mistake
Think I’d forgive you like that
If you thought I would wait for you
You thought wrong

But you’re just a boy
You don’t understand
Yeah you don’t understand
How it feels to love a girl someday
You wish you were a better man
You don’t listen to her
You don’t care how it hurts
Until you lose the one you wanted
Cause you’ve taken her for granted
And everything you have got destroyed
But you’re just a boy

hold me pliz!

please somebody hold me.

i'm so hurt right now.

let's play game with me..

Yes today i have bad feeling..

i don't no why.

but is ok..

he try to play game with me..

ok!

ko tak knl aku lagi.

aku akan pasti kan ko akn menyesal sebab knl aku..

dan aku akn buat hidup ko merana.

ko ingat aku takut??
no.

i want play on your game.

so don't try to hold me..

cuz i'm ready to make u lose someone like u did to me.

i hate u more then everything!

wait until i come to see u..

n i will make u cry front of my face..

i will.

nervous!

Finally!he reply my msg on this fb.

hahaha..

i can't believe it.

it's like i dreaming..

so he like know that i want to meet him.

i know..

jawapan yg i akn dpt maybe akn buat i kecewa.

tapi sekurg2 ye dia akn jmp i juga.

nk menangis pun ada.

takut jangan cakap lah.

hati ni bercampur aduk perasaan.

apa yg akn jd kat i nt.

kalau betul i salah.

i akn tanggung akibat ye.

dan

mgkin i tak akan nk jmp dia.

but i berani kerana benar.

i dah tak kesah apa pun yg akn jadi..

so i have to be brave.

peh..

apa nk jadi ni.

knp i tak mampu nk pikir apa2 pun ni.

tp apa nk jadi..jadi lah!

Ya Allah..

bantu lah hamba mu ini.

berikan aku kekuatan untuk berdepan dgn kebenaran hidup ku ini..

amin ya robal alamin..

hey u!

hey u!

i calling for your name.

i don't why.

first u make me like u.

love u.

trust u.

u besides me when need u.

when i sad.

when i need to talk with someone.

u always be there.

but why..

now u lie to me.

u make hate u.

u say u not love me.

we are just a friend..

ya i do accept that.

but why.

u make me love u again.

i try to forget bout u.

but i can't.

why u lie to me bout her..

if u don't want me in your life.

just say it.

but now u already make me will always with u.

are u forget bout your promise to me??

please don't say it.

i hurt because of u.

i cry because of u.

i have no feeling because of u.

all because of u.

now i suffer because of u.

thank a lot!

i hate u!

i hate u.

but i love u.

i hate u.

but i need u.

i hate u.

but i miss u.

i hate u.

but i still want u.

i hate u.

but u make love u.

i hate u.

but i always think about u.

i hate u.

but i can't stop say about u.

i hate u.

but i love u.

even i say i hate u.

actually i do love u..

Feel so relief now..

Want to know why i feel so relief now?
cuz i already tell his gf bout everything.

i hope that she understand what i try to say..

n what i want she to know.

hahaha..

nk menangis pun ada.

tapi dah ok.

sbb semua ye dah jelas skrg.

ye mmg aku salah.

tapi skurg2 ye aku responsible dkt ats diri sendiri.

aku dah penat jaga hati org.

sampai aku terluka yg amat dalam.

doktor pon tak ada ubat ye.

ha..

lega betul lah.

macam dah tak tau nk ckp apa lg.

skrg ini aku mampu tersenyum.

biar pun skrg ni mgkin aku akn di benci oleh that guy.

but is ok..

janji aku bagi tahu apa yg gf dia patut tau.

Thankz To U GOD..

Terima Kasih YA ALLAH.

sbb KAU telah beri aku jalan utk menyelesai kan masalah yang rumit ini..

amin ya robal alamin.

i'm hurt because of u!

I'm still here..

still hurt because of u.

maybe it will be for ever.

i'm try to forget bout that.

but i still thinking bout that.

i'm hurt cuz now u have gf.

happy with her..

but u are the one who hurt me so much.

u totally kill me inside.

because of u.

now i can't love anybody.

even he love me so much.

i promise.

u will regret cuz make so hurt.

i curse u.

u will never find the happiness until u meet me.

apologize for everything u done to me.

responsible for what done to me!

remember that..

i warn u.

friend??

Ramai mengaku aku nie kwn diorg.

tp hakikat ye..

xde makne ape2.

kwn xkn sggp mengkianati kwn sdri.

tp zaman skrg ramai manusia mcm 2.

kwn xkn sggp jual kwn..

skrg nie ramai mcm 2.

konon kwn nie akn bersama bila susah senang.

ha??

skrg xlg..

kwn ada bila kita senang je..

bila ssh..

lantak ko lah.

pandai2 lah ko nk hidup.

kdg2.

kte my mom is true.

kawan akan dtg bila waktu sng shja..

actually what is mean friend in our life?

just for fun?

for nothing?

u sdri decides.

i just mampu bg pendapat.

but 2 me..

a true friend is when their always with us even though difficult or easy moment..

so choose the best friend in your life..

Jgn terlalu memilih kwn.

berkawan biar ramai.

asal kan jgn jd kwn mkn kwn.

remember that!

Still hurt..And try 2 forget bout him!

I still hurt.

alone.

angry.

disappointed.

cry.

that's all i can say.

now i have 2 forget bout that.

but don't say that i'am not try to forget bout him.

i try so hard.

until i can't think bout other.

hei,do u listen what i try 2 say??

do u know what i feel?
u hurt me.

u leave me.

n i don't no what is my mistake.

please tell me..

i'am happy 4 someone..

I'am happy 4 someone..

about what?

bout their happiness with their couple.

me?

still alone..

i need someone can take care bout me.

love me so much.

take me as i'am.

i don't need ur money.

i just need ur love.

ya.

nothing i can do.

just waiting 4 being love by someone.

but no matter what happen i still happy..

cuz u now already have someone really better then me.

n more pretty then me.

but is ok.

hope that one day i also can be like u.

happy new year..

Hari nie dah jadi tahun baru tuk sume org.

termasuk lah aku.

sume happy.

tapi aku tak.

org lain happy sbb dah thn baru tapi tetap ngn org lama.

aku?

tak lagi..

sunyi??
aku jer bukan org lain.

diorg ada kawan and gf or bf.

boleh teman kan diorg.

aku?

tak ada kot.

kalau ada pon jauh.

nak buat macam mana.

ada kawan dekat.

hampeh.

tapi biar apa pun yg terjadi.

aku harus terus kan hidup.

tahun nie hidup aku akan berubah.

sebab aku akn sambung belajar tak lama lagi.

biar pun aku sunyi tak ada teman.

tapi aku kena happy tuk diri sendiri.

new year,new life will be,new love come soon,new heart breaker..

but still old problem n old heart feeling.